A Life To-Do List

I'm obsessed with lists. During the school year I generally have about three to-do lists going at once, each neatly categorized into long-term, daily, work, and life. I even record tasks on the to-do list after I've completed them for the sheer thrill of being able to cross them off. I even have a summer to-do list and I secretly take it with me on my travels. I just feel better with a list in hand.

Recently I read a book called "If I Live to be 100." The writer interviewed a series of centenarians about their lives. The book inspired me to open my journal from my Senior year of college and review my "Life To-Do List". I've revised it a bit, and added a few more things, but I was also happily able to check off a few more items.

(note: they are in no particular order)

- Go to Japan during cherry blossom season - DONE
- Travel to Southeast Asia - DONE
- Live on a kibbutz in Israel
- Teach English in India
- Backpack through Western Europe - BEGINNING PHASE 1 PREPARATIONS
- Backpack on the Appalachian Trail for at least 3 days
- Drive across America
- Go to Alaska
- Eat bugs - DONE
- Become adept at eating with chopsticks - IN PROGRESS
- Visit Auschwitz
- Buy a hat in Fez (Morocco)
- Ride an elephant - DONE
- Learn to cook exotic foreign cuisine - IN PROGRESS
- Go back to Kosovo
- Help kids in Kosovo go to college - IN PROGRESS
- Grow an exquisite rose garden
- Sing my favorite They Might Be Giants Song in Istanbul
- Ice skate in Central Park - DONE
- See the tree in Rockefeller center at Christmastime - DONE
- Throw a huge reunion party for all my college friends and their families in 20 years
- Learn to speak another language
- Ride and own horses
- Play tennis well
- Go swimming in the ocean at night - DONE
- Find the perfect beach
- Inspire someone to become a teacher
- Run a triathlon
- Go scuba diving in Turks and Caicos
- Learn to surf
- Take art classes
- Take a creative writing class
- Knit socks - DONE
- Knit a fabulous sweater
- Grow my own vegetables
- Have a house in the country with a front porch
- Explore Seattle
- Write and publish a work of fiction
- Get my Ph.D. in something
- Ride the C&O trail from Harpers Ferry to Georgetown
- Ride the entirety of the W&OD - DONE
- Meet the President of the United States
- Become good at photography
- Own a Lab of every color in addition to a Basset Hound and a Saint Bernard (but not necessarily simultaneously)
- Play a historical character at Williamsburg
- See a Broadway show

I guess I've been a bit of a slacker up until now. At this rate I may need to live to be 100 to get it all done...and I'm sure I'll be adding more to the list as we go along.

Coming up next: Things that I done that should have been on my to-do list

Asa and the Idols

Working backwards through 2 Chronicles, we encounter Jehosephat’s predecessor, Asa. This king laid the groundwork for a godly kingdom by removing the foreign idols from the households and public squares.



In Thailand there are Buddhas all over. They garnish the street corners, or sit centrally in the squares and temple complexes across the land. The golden statues even mingle amidst the debauchery in Bangkok’s brothel-laden districts. The offerings of prostitutes, placed hurriedly at Buddha’s golden feet. Inching through traffic on Sukhumvit, the little Buddha sits on the dashboard of each taxi. In the countryside Buddha simulacrums dot the landscape. Sometimes these are very unique, usually they are not quite as shiny, often weathered and cracked, but still, the same idol. The poorest of the poor offer their Orange Crush, noodles, flowers, and incense to these lifeless figurines. If you don’t think about it too much it’s comedic. If you do think about it, it’s incredibly sad.



I wonder if Judah looked like this. Alters dotting the city. Can you imagine the amount of courage it would take to uproot these idols. It’s easy to read 1st and 2nd Chronicles like a history textbook. They leave out the drama, the passion of the story. You must read between the lines.

Can you imagine the repercussions of Asa’s edict? There must have been massive dissent, as there always is when a leader takes away an entrenched practiced. I wonder how much opposition Asa incurred from his advisors, from the wealthy and powerful, from the “old guard,” that saw no harm in these foreign idols? Who did he get to enforce the destruction of idolatry? Was there an “idol police?”Asa, this guy in his twenties, shaking things up! Did he ever second guess himself? In the midst of all the opposition did he ever doubt? How was he so sure of his convictions?
Perhaps that is why 2 Chronicles 15: 7 says “But you be strong, and do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded.” The next verse says “He took courage and removed the abominable idols.”

Asa did some amazing things for the Lord. He “took courage.”

Ten Thousand Years

“A little while, and you will not see Me; and again a little while, and you will see Me, because I go to the father.” John 16:16

“They said therefore, ‘What is this that He says, ‘A little while’? We do not know what He is saying.” John 16:18

About two thousand years ago Jesus prepared His disciples for His death, His sustained absence and their futures of persecution and hardship. He was preparing them to live in a broken world without Him. He was preparing them to seek the power of God through the “helper” – the Holy Spirit that would come and imbue their hearts with a mysterious power and hope. He was preparing them for a life of sorrow, yet telling them that it is only a little while.

The disciples and Jesus had a very different idea of what “a little while” meant. They would soon learn that “a little while” was a period of years, a lifetime even. They were learning the lesson that Moses, their great forefather recorded thousands of years before, “For a thousand years in Your sight are like yesterday when it is past.” (Psalm 90:4) Perhaps this is why God’s story of creation, sin, redemption and glorification spans millennia. But we who are waiting get impatient, as we should. We were not created for this world.

Jesus knows this but recognizes that it is all part of the story. Sorrow MUST be turned into joy. That’s what makes this drama truly spectacular. God incorporates waiting and hardship into His plan for our refinement. Only in a world full of pain will the Kingdom of Heaven be longed for with an intensity that would be absent if life were easy.

“Therefore,” Jesus says, “you now have sorrow; but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you.” (John 16:22)

“When we’ve been there ten thousand years” John Newton so aptly wrote, our lives of pain and sorrow will be so distant, yet so indelibly etched into our eternal nature. Mark Driscoll said once that looking back a billion years from now will be like looking back on one memorable recess on the playground when we were kids. It will be so far away, and yet the blessing and rewards that we enjoy for eternity are in many ways dependent on how closely we follow and serve God here (see parable of the Ten Virgins and Talents in Matthew 25).

Jesus left the disciples only a few days after his resurrection. He left them with the express instruction to “tarry in the city of Jerusalem.” (Luke 24:49) Both literal and figurative – they were to tarry until they received the Holy Spirit at Pentecost, but also they were to tarry in this “old Jerusalem” with the promise of a “New Jerusalem” ahead. They were to go forth, living each day as a testimony to Him – living, journeying, teaching, preaching being tortured, humiliated, killed all in the name Christ and sustained by the hope of that “New Jerusalem.”

Here we are today. We are plagued with disappointments, with sickness, death, pain we never could have imagined, things we never planned for. Are we tempted to believe that God has dumped too much into our lap? Do we sometimes wonder why He can’t just let us be happy and peaceful for just a little while?

We’re not there yet. We live our lives in America striving with everything we have to be happy and prosperous. Trying to shelter ourselves as best as possible from the brokenness of the world. Keep it at an arms length. Safe inside the T.V. Miles away. It’s not the time for that. Today is when we live in a world of pain and sin. Tomorrow is when we rest, when we have real, perfect, fulfilled joy.

And the cool thing is that tomorrow lasts forever.

“So teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12)

When You Just Need a Good Cry

I’ve met a lot of people here in the suburbs who don’t like dogs. That’s inconceivable to me. Growing up in the country everybody had animals of some sort – and to be honest I’ve always been slightly judgmental of a person who can’t love a dog. What’s not to love?

I really like Marley and Me. It’s the only movie in the world that can make me cry. In fact I’m not a crier – I’ve cried about twice in the past year – the two times I saw Marley and Me. Why am I so attached to dogs?

I think, simply put, it’s encapsulated in John Grogan’s super-cliché last line in the film: “A dog doesn’t care if you’re rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull, just give him your heart and he’ll give you his.”
You don’t have to earn a dog’s love. Dogs depend on you, but they don’t get mad if you forget to feed them. Dogs don’t fight with you like teenagers do. Little kids may be utterly dependant on you, but they also throw temper tantrums. People in general are horribly selfish. I don’t get that from a dog. All they do is chew your shoes and eat the hamburger off your plate when you’re not looking. I can handle that.

People are hard to please. People create stress and strife. Most people have a very conditional love. Even if they love you, there is usually someone else they care about more. I like how dogs don’t operate that way. The way they love you is pretty simple and full and consistent. I know they’re not created in the image of God and all that…but again…maybe truth is found in the unlikeliest of places. You can learn a lot about unconditional love from a dog.

When it comes to dogs giving and receiving love is easy. In all other cases it’s pretty hard. Drama and selfishness get in the way. It’s nice to have things come easy sometimes.

Winning Outcomes

That is educational jargon for you. I just came across some brochure for some conference somewhere with that title plastered across the top, promising to make me an all-star teacher in three easy steps. Thus, my satirical tribute and utter disenchanchment with our society’s - and my own - propensity to have faith in our own effort and strategy.

God brought me to Virginia through His own creative means. And there is not a day that goes by that I don't say a little prayer of thanksgiving as I pull into the driveway to Briar Woods (especially on those 6am debate Saturdays). I couldn't have gotten there on my own - without a few miracles along the way. When God caused the people of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir to turn upon one another and destroy each other before they even got to Judah, that was again His divine creative plan. And He did a much better job of ensuring victory than the Israelites ever could have done. God told Jehosephat to “stand still.” I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around that. Stand still? Really God? You mean I don’t have to do anything?

God is a lot more competent than we are. The sooner I understand this the better. The sooner we stop striving to control our destiny, the easier it will be to sit back and enjoy Him and the life He’s put us into.

That’s lesson number two of Type-A therapy.

Not Your Fight

I’m going to tell you about Jehosephat. (2 Chronicles 20:1-30) To be quite accurate, however, this is not Jehosephat’s story; its God’s story all around. I’m going to have to dissect this passage in a series of essays because God is uncovering convicting truths every single day.

Installment #1: An Overview from Type-A Perspective

This Scripture resonates hard because I am a stubborn, obsessive-compulsive, hyper-sensitive, and worrisome control freak. I’ve always been this way and have always accepted it as the blessing and curse that got me through high school and college with flying colors. I have a goal - I achieve it. Something needs to get done – I get it done. Before I became a teacher I was responsible for my own success alone, but that’s no longer the case. Welcome to adulthood, Mandy. My job forces me into a position of leadership from 9-4 on weekdays and on most Saturdays. I have to be watching, guiding, monitoring, coaching, and thinking at least three steps ahead of 12-30 equally selfish people at any given time.

So when God says to me, as He did to Jehosephat, “Hey, you don’t have to be in control of this!” it should come as a welcome release. But quite honestly it is not. I like feeling in control. In high school I was the kid that did the whole group project by myself because I didn’t trust anyone well enough to delegate responsibility.

I know that I can get things done well and on a respectable timetable. It’s not that God can’t – but will He get it done my way with my time table, according to my standards? Will God get an “A” at orchestrating my life? Will His plan really solve for more harms and have a greater net benefit than mine? (sorry, debate jargon) Why do I have more faith in myself than in the Creator? Why do I have more faith in my limited abilities, which are only manifested through the power of the Spirit in the first place? Of course, we all know that I make bad decisions and say the wrong thing ALL the time, but yet I’m still fighting God for control of my life.

And the resounding words that encapsulate this entire Scripture ring so true: “for the battle is not yours, but God’s.” (vs15) And again, God says “You will not need to fight in this battle, position yourselves, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, who is with you, O Judah and Jerusalem.” (vs17) Do you KNOW how hard it is to stand still!!!! It’s harder for me to sit on the couch on a beautiful Saturday morning than to go out and run five miles. How does one learn to stand still and rely solely on the Lord?

But if Jehosephat, the leader of Judah can learn to stand still then surely we can as well. When Jehosephat learned of impending attack he responded in four ways. He feared. He sought the Lord. He proclaimed a fast. He recruited an army of worshipers to sing praise. This would have gone so much differently had he acted according to his more earthy instincts. It could read: “He feared. He drafted all the young men into the army. The young men of Judah died in a violent siege against the Ammonites.” Had he gone into battle, Jehosephat may have been successful against the Ammonites and Moabites, he may have driven them out in the end, but he never could have done it with the resounding flair that God did. We would not have seen Judah’s army looking on while the warring tribes turned upon each other and defeated themselves.

God does not always take the battle completely out of our hands. In many cases there are tasks that we must accomplish in the “fight.” The Old Testament is filled with depictions of God-ordained warfare between His people and the outsiders. In fact, the Israelites got themselves into trouble for the rest of human history because they were slackers (another idea for another day).

But Jehosephat was not a slacker. I’m convinced that Jehosephat was a type-A overachiever. God needed to teach Jehosephat how to trust. Jehosephat ultimately delighted in the spoils, but could not take the glory. The victory was unquestionably God’s.

When God says “stand still and let me fight this battle” it takes a relentless amount of self-control on my part. It’s a daily process. You wake up to fear or worry. You seek God in prayer. You rein in your mind and heart through spiritual disciplines. You play some worship music in the car and sing His praise. That’s what Jehosephat did and that’s what I’m going to do with this day. By God’s grace that’s what I’m going to do with tomorrow. Nothing less. Nothing more.

You Cannot Perm this Counterplan

Get ready. There is a cheesy debate analogy coming at you.

In debate we have a plan. The plan supports the resolution. This year our resolution is: “The U.S. Federal government should substantially increase incentives for alternative energy development in the United States.” Our plan is to implement a cap and trade policy that will reduce emissions by 20% of 1990 levels by 2020. We run this when we are affirmative.

Obviously the Negative team must not support the plan. One way to debate the Affirmative’s plan is to run a counterplan. One popular counterplan involves building up more nuclear energy plants across the country (and personally, I agree).

Debate strategy says to permute the counterplan, which means that if you are on the affirmative you need to find a way to do your plan while incorporating the neg’s counterplan. For instance, you could go ahead with tradeable permits and also concentrate on building small nuclear reactors in rural regions to take them off the strained grid (I can’t take credit for that one, just an argument I heard along the way). That way you get all of their solvency plus yours and a substantially greater net benefit.

I actually really like counterplans. My debate captain does not. I don’t really argue with my debate captain (not a good idea to argue with national qualifiers in debate) so we don’t run them. However, we encounter plenty on the Aff. My kids always come to me saying “what should we do if we get the ______ counterplan?” I always say: “Perm it. Now, let’s think of a way to do this.”

In life I’m all about having a plan. I’m type-A, I can’t help it. And if somebody has a better plan, I’ll never admit it, I’ll just find a way to do both.

I live my life as if I were in a debate round with God. I come to Him with a plan. It’s a pretty solid plan from my perspective. Did I mention that I’m type-A? I do things well. I think ahead to possible problems and consequences. I deliver a flawless list of advantages that seem to outweigh any potential negative impacts and I say, “Ok God, prove this plan wrong. Just prove it.”

And then He offers this crazy counterplan and like a good debate coach I’m left trying to perm it. “Ok God, I’ll grant you that it’s a good plan. But so is mine, so let’s do both.”

I’m learning that life is not like debate tournament. What may be good strategy in a debate round is not generally good strategy when seeking the Lord’s will. For some reason the perm isn’t working. We can’t do both His plan and mine and I’m losing the round. Maybe I’ve just got to concede to His plan – or better yet, maybe I should just forfeit this debate entirely. It’s not wise to get into a debate with your trophy-touting debate captain. It’s even more foolish to get into a debate with your sovereign Creator.

Does this make any sense? Maybe this is an obscure analogy that has to rest in the debate realm. But it kind of struck me the other day as I was listening to a couple freshmen run a hemp plan (yes, let’s grow hemp and turn it into biofuel). It actually just excited me that I can turn something as esoteric as policy debate theory into a spiritual analogy.

In closing, I shall offer up some lyrics from a song I’ve been listening to on repeat for the last few weeks:

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
-By Your Side, by Tenth Avenue North

When I listen to this song it's like God is saying, "Please Mandy, don't turn this into a debate round. You cannot perm this counterplan. Do not fight me. You are raging against the hands that are holding you up and holding you together."