Book Thoughts - My Beloved World: by Sonia Sotomayor

 

 I've always had a bit of a fascination with Sonia Sotomayor. I'm not really sure why. Perhaps because she's an intelligent woman above the political fray, perhaps because she embodies a sort of intellectual rags-to-riches ideal that I admire, or maybe it's just because she was my company one summer. I was hunkered down in my apartment writing grad school papers with CPSAN on for background noise and she was in the throes of Senate confirmation hearings. It was like a bonding experience - except she didn't know it - I guess it was a rather one-sided bonding. 

Anyway, I began her memoir on Sunday and finished it on Monday evening. I knew I would like her book immediately. I chuckled at the prologue. She warned her legal assistants that she would be taking some liberties with language. They were not to evaluate her book based on the standards for formal legal writing. I appreciate and resonate with that sentiment. My blog posts do not follow the structure or style of the AP essays I spend so much of my life grading. I get it. I get her. She's my kind of person.

 If you know anything about Sonia Sotomayor you know her story. She grew up in the Bronx projects, she went to Catholic school, got a scholarship to Princeton and later Yale Law (true, affirmative action probably didn't hurt) and yes, eventually was appointed to the Supreme Court. That is the metanarrative - the real story that resounded in my heart and mind lay in the smaller narratives, the little pieces of the puzzle that make her who she is today. There are things I admire about her and things I do not. But all in all, I learned a lot by reading her book. I was inspired. I walked away feeling as if there is one person in Washington that I can respect. 

I admired her battle with diabetes. When she first learned of the disease her parents began fighting over who would give her shots each day. Sonia had witnessed many an argument among her parents, but this was the first time they were arguing about HER. So she learned to give herself her own shots. She was young. Probably too young. But she was determined. 

The summer after her father died she found solace in the library. She haunted her local library, checking out books with no rhyme or reason. As a result, this girl who grew up in a Spanish speaking home began to really absorb and learn the English language. A language that she would later have to master in all its intricacy. That was the summer that she became a lifelong learner. 

She joined the forensics team in high school. It was through public speaking and debate that she found her passion. She learned lessons that would eventually get buried by all of her law school technicalities. Later, when she was able to unearth that passion, relight that fire and infuse her words with meaning and emotion, only then did she begin winning cases. The lessons she learned on her high school forensics team were some of the most valuable to her career. 

She figured out how to get her self to college - and not just any college - Princeton. The labyrinthine world of college admission was one that none in her family had traversed. She was the first. She did it by herself. If she got a leg up due to affirmative action, well I think it only makes up for the fact that she didn't have the advantage of expensive SAT prep course, or a mom or dad to proofread college essays and fill out loan applications for her. She was still determined. 

She is a judge by profession, but not by nature. She judges cases and laws, but she does not judge people. She believes that there is something to learn from every person you meet. I do a lot more judging than she does and I don't even wear a funny robe. 

Sonia Sotomayor is an intensely hard working woman. She is a strong, independent, determined, thinking female. I love that. I learned about the Puerto Rican culture and how strong the bonds of family remain. I learned more than I ever expected to know about criminal law and day-to-day life in the district court. Yet there is one area in which I do not admire Sotomayor. She could not master the art of building a strong marriage. And yet, I still learned from her. It is very hard to do both - and to do both well. It is difficult to put oneself on a path to such enormous success and maintain the closeness and intimacy needed to sustain a strong marriage. While I cannot admire her example in this area, I appreciate her wisdom about families and careers. She doesn't beat around the bush. She admits that no woman can have it all without sacrifice. Working moms do sacrifice - they do not "have it all" as most believe at the outset. They can never be ALL there in the way a non-mother can, they are always feeling the pull, always feeling the weight of a bigger responsibility awaiting them beyond the doors of the office. Yet they should not be belittled or judged for this choice. Sotomayor does not believe that they are bad mothers, but that they are indeed making a sacrifice. A stay-at-home mother can invest 100% in her children, but she sacrifices her career. A woman who chooses not to have a family can invest herself 100% in her career but sacrifice the joys of a family. We are humans. We cannot do it all, we cannot have it all. Even Sonia Sotomayor, who has a seat on the highest court in the land, who has oodles of friends, a huge supportive family, degrees from two Ivy league universities and a host of other accolades, does not have it all. 

At the end of the day I can admire her hard work, her intelligence, and her unique ability to analyze the law and think through situations rationally. In all of those things I aspire to be more like her. But I would not trade my life for hers. I realize that for me there are some things greater and more honorable than a seat on the Supreme Court. That is being a good wife, maintaining a strong marriage, and perhaps someday raising children to be intelligent, determined, and hard-working citizens.