One day in the Garden Adam awoke to find Eve. He probably thought she was perfect (let’s hope so, because she’s the only woman that ever was). Eve was created as a companion for Adam because there was not a “helper comparable to him” (Gen 2:20). I like the NKJV phrasing because it depicts gender roles so carefully. It alludes to a balance between submission and partnership. Unfortunately there are few marriages in the Bible that stand out as good examples to follow.
Reading through Genesis quickly discourages me. The deeper in you get, the more you see sin creep into every human relationship. By the time you get to Jacob women have become a commodity. Chapter 29 talks of Jacob “loving” Rachel, but I often wonder what this means. Throughout the story you see little real interaction between the couple. Rachel is often manipulating various situations and competing with her sister for the attention of their shared husband. Then both ladies offer up their maids as the childbearing contest intensifies. I wonder if Jacob valued Rachel for anything other than her beautiful “form and appearance” (Gen 29:17b). I wonder if he valued Leah for anything more than the kids she could produce.
Where did that role of “helper” break down? I do not blame Jacob entirely (although he comes from a long line of weak men). The women were manipulative and unsupportive, merely seeking ways to sabotage each other and win the approval of the patriarch. At the same time however, you can’t help but sympathize with them. After all, how would it feel to sit back in the ladies’ tent while your sister sleeps with your man?
In the West the pendulum has swung to the other direction. While I hate patriarchal systems I am not a feminist - at least not in the Betty Friedan sense. I believe that the feminists of the latter twentieth century shot themselves in the foot. Rather than attributing value to women's roles, the feminists claimed that a woman’s natural strengths were of little value and they must dress, act, and think like men. Climbing up the career ladder became the only way to achieve worth. Families should take second place. Today, families are more like an expensive hobby to prove that you can, in fact, do it all.
I know that striking the balance and finding that God-ordained partnership is exceedingly difficult. It is impossible without grace. While women are not meant to lead the family, they must be the “comparable helper” which does involve submission. However, their intellect and unique abilities should be highly valued and made essential to the functioning of the household. Their role is to support, encourage, and share the burdens of life - whether that means cleaning the house or bringing home a paycheck. You see little of this in the women of Genesis. Christ’s lineage is filled with dysfunctional families. It is full of humans crying out for love and value and not finding it in one another. This is why we need a Savior.
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